Is something missing?

Do you feel that?  The empty spot that aches to be filled?  With what do you try to fill it?  When it gnaws like an empty belly, what do you turn to for satisfaction?

In the wee hours of the morning, I lay pondering choices made - and why a daughter of the Kind would settle for cheap imitation...  when I have access to the riches of the Most High King...  What is it that could allure Eve to settle for the one fruit God had forbidden, when she had access to the rest of the garden? 

O Foolish Heart!  Why are you so quick to choose the lesser thing?  IN the still of the night, I heard His voice... the One who created me... Who formed me and knows everything about me...

"Precious daughter - I bought you with a price - and expensive and precious price - My Son.  Do not settle for satisfaction from cheap imitations.  That empty spot you seek to fill from so many sources was designed for ME.  Seek ME first.  I know your every need - your deepest longings.  Trust ME.  I along can fill that aching void - not food, not pleasure, not people.  You can try to numb it away or stuff it full of substitutes - but the pains will only increase.  My child, come rest in ME."

Grace perplexes this performance-weary child.  How can He love me after these foolish choices?  And yet - Amazing Grace!  Like the Apostle Paul - I do not do the things I want to do - and am lured to do those things I don't want to do...  like a dog returning to eat its own vomit, while a bowl of top rate canine delights goes untouched. 

In his book, Weight of Glory and Other Addresses, C.S. Lewis describes how we are often "like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."  How often have I settled for mud pies because I was too impatient?  The journey seemed too long or too hard...  such foolishness!

If I really understood the value and the preciousness of the gift - would I not press on toward it?  Would not the counterfeit lose its attractiveness? 

O restless soul, stop with the junk already!  Father - help me to hear and obey Your voice.. to wait on Your provision; Your plan; to trust You to fill the longings of my heart!