I'm A Two-Bit Dud ... and Smiling Ear-to-Ear!

From my friend Jennifer over at Getting Down with Jesus (http://gettingdownwithJesus.blogspot.com) – a great thought for all us perfectionists!! 

 

Andrea

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For two years straight, I didn't smile with an open mouth. More accurately, I tried not to. I had a mouthful of crooked, crowded teeth. Imagine a picket fence rearranged by a wildly errant bicyclist -- or a Mack truck. That's what my teeth looked like. Or that's what I thought anyhow. I had postponed orthodontic care for years, because in my heightened state of teenage self-awareness, braces seemed even more unattractive than crooked teeth. I didn't want to trade in my picket fence for barbed-wire. That's what we perfectionists do in America, The Land of Just-So. We weigh our options, deciding which one -- in the end -- will make us look best. By my junior year of high school, I gave in. Which meant that I would be wearing braces for my senior pictures. Which meant that I would, under no circumstances, open my mouth to smile for the photographer. (Though, somehow, I had no trouble wearing three-inch tall bangs and acid-wash jeans.)   For as long as I can remember, I've been a high-achieving, approval-seeking people pleaser. Back in sixth-grade, I first hear the word "perfectionist." My English teacher wrote me a note that served as a harbinger. "You have a perfectionist quality in you that I so often see as a great asset," she wrote. "Beware of it, however, and try to always view things with an open mind. After all, there will always be tomorrow." Trouble was, I wanted to be the best TODAY. Try, try, try as I might, I never felt I was the best at anything. That's what perfectionists in this practice-makes-perfect culture do. We race past the goal of achieving excellence, in a vain search for being number-one. Truth is, I've never been a superstar anything. There's always been a better writer, a better student, a better cook, a better adjunct journalism professor. Not-Good-Enough can shackle. It can keep a perfectionist sidelined, with her lips pursed tight so no one sees the crooked mess she really is. Our just-right mantra is this: "If I can't do it right, then I won't do it at all." But in the midst of my own "I-can't," I have been learning the art of "Oh, yes He can."   Perfection is so yesterday. I guess you could say I'm in recovery. I'm not cured, but I'm letting go -- shedding perfection like a 1980s hairdo.   For years, friends of mine have picked a word to define their year. Just one single word. For the first time ever, I've got mine. For 2011, my word is this: Imperfect. Roget's synonyms for the word "imperfect" sting hard. I typed the word into the online thesaurus. Up popped these words: Below par. Broken. Damaged. Defective. Disfigured. A schlocky, two-bit dud. Oh yeah, Roget? Well, get this: My Creator sees imperfect, flawed, broken me, and He declares me good. Very good. It's almost 2011. This recovering perfectionist is clinging to a God capable of delivering her from the curse of Not-Good-Enough. In Christ, I am free to be me. I am still going to do my best, because God wants us to be people of excellence for His glory. But when I fall short of perfection (and I know I will) I'm going to laugh at myself more, cut myself some slack, and risk falling flat on my face (or flat on my back) in the name of adventure. And I am going to put on some big, bug-eyed glasses -- and maybe even a pair of cheesy acid-wash jeans. I'm going to open my mouth wide, throw my arms wildly to the sky and I'm going to SMILE. (Mom and Dad -- Thanks for the paying the ortho bills.) "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." -- Galatians 1:10   Each Wednesday, I join Ann Voskamp for her Walk With Him Wednesday series. This Wednesday, she asks us to name the New Year. What's your word?

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Sexual Purity Means Using Protection

Well said!  Another great post from Girls Gone Wise... 

Andrea

When it comes to premarital sex what are you told today? Everyone says, "Just make sure you use protection."  God says the same thing, but for completely different reasons, in completely different ways. The world tells you to use protection so when you choose to have sex you won't suffer the physical consequences, like pregnancy or disease. But God's protection is different. It isn't a pill you take the morning after or in a box you buy at Wal-Mart. So what is God method of protection? It's sexual purity. His protection saves your body and your heart. 1. Preserves Your Holiness. God can only be in the presence of holiness and purity that's why God says be holy and act as He does (1 Pet. 1:13).  When people look at you, they should see your holy Dad.  Sexual immorality, which is improper for God's children(1 Cor. 6:13, 18, 20; Eph. 5), blurs your resemblance of God. So when you say, "God, I'm going to ignore your commands and my boyfriend and I are going to do what we want," you reject Him and sin against your own body (1 Thess. 4:3-8), you reject holiness. God commands purity because it's best for you and makes you more like Him. 2. Protects Your Reputation and the Gospel's The women in Titus taught the younger women how to be godly, to live in such a way that no one could say anything bad about them or Scripture (Titus 2:4-5). Self-control and purity are traits of a godly woman, a woman set apart for Christ. She loves God so much that she would rather live a holy, pure life than give in to temptations that only promise temporary pleasure. She wants to preserve her reputation, but more than anything, wants to uphold God's. Live in such a way that's above reproach so there's not even a whiff of sexual immorality in your life. If that means a couple is never alone but God's temple is honored (1 Cor.6:19), so be it! If that means always keeping a door open if you're in each other's rooms but the Gospel is not maligned because of that, so be it! If that means waiting to kiss or hold hands for months after dating but no one can accuse you of any immorality, but instead they want to know your Lord and Savior, then so be it! What it comes down to is, which do you love more: yourself or Christ? 3. Protects Your Brother in Christ Matt. 5:28 commands men to not check out women. I used to think that guys were SUPPOSED to check out girls, it was natural for them. But Christ says it's the same as committing adultery. So what does that have to do with us? If you knew you could save someone in your family from heartache and trouble, would you try as hard as you could to do so? Why wouldn't you do the same for your spiritual brother?  The guy you date, if he's a Christian, is your brother in Christ. You can protect him by not purposefully dressing in a way that he'll want to check you out. A daughter of the King doesn't intentionally want guys to check her out but cares for her brother by dressing in a way that glorifies God. You also protect your brother when you act in way that does not cause him to stumble sexually. He could be pressuring you to do certain things and you are going along with him, or you could be pressuring him. Either way you're not protecting him and you're not protecting his future wife. You don't know for sure if you both are meant to be together, but you do know he has a future wife. So live in such a way that protects everyone. 4. Preserves Yourself for Your Intended Spouse His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me. O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so pleases. – Song of Sol. 8:3-4 His left hand is under her head? His right hand embraces her? This bride in Song of Songs is now with her beloved, her husband. In a way, he's snuggling her as his wife. She knows the joy of having been pure and the beauty of God's intended plan. So she begs her sisters not to awaken love until it (God) desires, after marriage. God does only good to His children.  When He says, "Do not awaken love until it so desires, flee and avoid sexual immorality," God is saying, "I have something beautiful and wonderful intended for you, if you'll follow my ways and stay pure.  The way I intended sex is only truly enjoyable within marriage." He will NEVER withhold good from you, and if you trust God He'll lead you down the right path and take care of you. For my husband, he waited 8 years to kiss his future wife because he knew that every girl he dated was someone's wife, but he didn't know if they were going to be his wife. He didn't want to kiss another man's wife. So when we started dating, he waited six months, until God made it clear that I was going his wife, to kiss me. He saved that and never regretted it, but we've both regretted anything we did that didn't preserve us for each other. 5. Protects Your Future Marriage The consequences of pre-marriage sexual experiences carry over into marriage and you'll have to deal with them. They don't go away once you're married. The past partners and experiences will come into your relationship with your husband. There'll be insecurities on both sides: "Am I good enough? Is she comparing me to them?" The world tells you, "You need to see if you're compatible sexually. They might be the one, so go ahead." But God says, "Trust me, I have someone for you and when you marry that person you won't regret saving yourself. If you don't, when you finally marry, you'll have wished with everything in you that you had waited and kept your marriage bed undefiled (Heb. 13:4)." A wise person once told me, "You'll never regret taking it slow in relationships, but you'll always regret going too fast." God laid out a plan in Scripture and gave you the tools to protect yourself for sexual purity. Do you trust Him when He says, "Wait!"? If you've doubted His plan before and given into temptation, you probably know the pain it brings. God is saying to you, "Come back and I will comfort you. It's never too late." There's always forgiveness with the Lord, no matter what you've done in your past. You can't out-sin His grace. If you haven't strayed from God's will in this area, stay strong! You will never regret it! God isn't a liar; He is complete goodness, so trust His plan! Related posts: Wise vs. Wild Contrast #10: Sexual Conduct Sexual Purity Starts at Seven The Godly Girl's Guide to Guys

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Mr. Right or Mr. Right In Front of You?

Another great post from the gals over at Girls Gone Wise… 

 

Andrea

 

Sometimes, being single is not easy. There is so much pressure to pair up and live happily ever after. The world views singleness as a problem. On every TV channel, there are ads targeting the single crowd telling them that they would be happier in a relationship. An array of romantic comedies and emotional tales of true love leave single girls pulling out their hair and screaming, "Where is the one?!!" And for the single woman who really does want to be married, it is easy to get discouraged. In case you haven't noticed – there are a lot of strange guys out there. And turning to lost friends from work for companionship, rather than enduring the loneliness of one more Friday night eating a Lean Cuisine with Ben and Jerry can be convenient.  Why wait for God's Mr. Right when Mr. Right-in-front-of-you is sitting in the next office? He doesn't have any major vices, he seems like an all around good guy. So what if he's not only a CEO in work, but a CEO in church…as in "Christmas and Easter Only"? At least he is sort of spiritual and seeking…..something? So what? The Bible is what. God is very clear on this subject of close relationships between believers and unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." This verse applies to all types of relationships with non-Christians, but there is only one relationship that if "yoked" with an unbeliever, cannot be undone. … Marriage. So, what does Paul mean by unequally yoked? The expression "unequally yoked" comes from Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:10, where it means "mismatched." It's talking about the yoking of two animals of very different sizes and temperaments to walk at the same pace and to act as one in the same work. It will never happen – the animals are just too different!  In this passage, Paul is warning the Corinthians against compromising their witness to the world. He emphasizes avoiding any action that would cause believers to link up with the world, which includes marriage. You may think that the "lost, but so amazing" guy you are dating is the only one who really "gets" you. But if you do not have Christ in common, you have no foundation for a relationship. In the next few verses (2 Corinthians 6:14-16), Paul links unbelievers with lawlessness, darkness and even Satan himself. He is emphasizing the difference between those who do know Christ as Savior and those who do not. Ultimately, the two have nothing in common. And any believing wife married to an unsaved man will attest to this fact. You may think that there is no harm in dating the new super-cute non-Christian guy in your life, but the Bible says otherwise. In 2 Corinthians 6:16-7:1, Paul quotes four verses from the Old Testament to explain why it is so important that we not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. "For we are the temple of the living God…" Remember how holy God considered the Temple back in the Old Testament? People could not enter into the Holy of Holies for fear of death! God's Spirit literally dwelt in the Temple. Paul applies that same standard of holiness to the believers at Corinth, who were a part of the new temple of God. It is because  they are the temple of God, they should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers . Paul is not saying that believers should withdraw from culture, but that in their pursuit of holiness they should break any ties with the world that would compromise the holiness of God's temple, including close friendships, business partnerships, peer groups, dating relationships, and yes, even marriage. God is not being cruel by commanding you to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. He is calling you to live a holy life and He is trying to protect you, His daughter, from a great deal of heartache. The most important thing in your life  - your Jesus – is foolishness to a unbeliever. (1 Corinthians 1:22-25). Paul is saying that as a believer, your primary influences should be believers. Your best friends, your advisors, your dates, and especially the man you marry should know your Jesus!  It is tempting to settle for a great lost guy over the socially-awkward stalker in the single's ministry or being alone for another Friday night. But it doesn't matter how sweet, handsome or dynamic the guy is – if he is lost then he is NOT God's will for you. God is not punishing you with singleness. God loves you (John 3:16). For some women, God's best for them is to be married earlier, so that they can learn important lessons about God through marriage. For other women, God's best for them is keeping them single for a time, so they can learn those same lessons through singleness. Singleness is not a problem to be fixed! Singleness is a season of life where we can focus solely on God. The Bible says that it is God's will that everyone be single for a time and some be single forever – and those are blessed! (1 Cor. 7:32-35) You can choose to be obedient and single for as long as God wants or you can disobey and date/marry the next cute lost guy who walks across your path. Who will it be? God's Mr. Right or the world's Mr. Right-in-front-of-you? Related posts: Living With a Hope Deferred – Part 2 Calling All the Single Ladies! Wise vs. Wild Contrast #10: Sexual Conduct

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Protestant Women of the Chapel International

PWOC is an organization I've known about for quite some time - through friends and through Cadence women.  This past weekend, I was privileged to be a part of the international conference, where women from around the world gathered together to spend time in worship and study of the Word.  Words cannot describe the experience. 

As women (and some men, as there were quite a few chaplains there also) of all sizes, shapes and colors gathered together, I experienced a taste of what I imagine heaven might be like.  It was simply amazing.  And the Holy Spirit was moving amongst us!  You could feel the presence of the Lord! 

Priscilla Shirer was the keynote speaker - and she delivered several impactful messages (you may hear more about those later! I'm still processing!!) Another challenging message was delivered by Chaplain (General Major) Doug Carver.   In discussing the suicide rates, he mentioned three contributing factors:

• "Dear John" letters - or relationship issues
• Fear of public shame - (ie) if someone knows they are about to be "caught" for something shameful they have done
• Isolation - feeling alone

We have an Army that is tired and weary, and a marketplace that is increasingly hostile toward the Gospel - and the Church is strangely quiet.  Ch. Carver challenged us with five ways to be salt and light to the military:

1. Pray - there is much power in prayer - be lifting up the military and their leaders.
2. Proclaim life (not death) - the media already lets us know about all the evil that is in this world - let's speak words of life and encouragement - words of hope!
3. Promote honor - live your life in a way that glorifies the Lord - be holy and humble.
4. Have a passion for souls...  don't just see those around you as a bunch of people - but as souls that either face eternity with God or eternal separation from Him.  Share the gospel!
5. Make worship a priority.  Take time to spend with the Lord - both individually and corporately.

Stay tuned for more... and pictures! :) Be blessed - and be salt and light!

Search Me Know Me

This is a great song of self-examination and confession based on Psalm 51 and Psalm 139:23-24.