My Life as a Biggest Loser - Pt. 2

Have you ever been a part of something that just drew you in?  Immediately felt connected to something that was bigger than yourself?  As a Christian - that's how I feel about the Body of Christ.  No matter where I go - I have family.  There is a camradery and a kinship that comes from striving toward the same goal. 

My Biggest Loser journey is a bit like that!  Everywhere I look, I see spiritual analagies of how the body of Christ is meant to operate.  In fact, there have been several times when it seemed the Church could stand to learn a few things from the Biggest Loser approach... here is one example:

Team Pink - "Before" Picture

Overweight, out-of-shape people tend to stay away from the gym.  Why?  Because gyms are filled with "fit and healthy" people - and that's intimidating.  Makes me think of people that I know who are spiritually out of shape that won't grace the premise of a church.  The BL program makes a safe environment for the unhealthy to come learn about being healthy.  And NOT by plopping us among all healthy people and expecting us to figure it out.  Instead, we are on teams of other folks who are at the same place, but with seasoned trainers who guide us and help us.   The closest to this idea in churches that I've seen is the small group format.  Especially when there is a small group that is a "starter group"...  One that focuses on the basics.

That's what Lisa and Kaaren do each week for Team Pink.  We learn things - some of us already know some of the information - but we practice what we know and keep adding to it.  When we are "ahead", we encourage those who lag behind...  When we are "behind", we lean on those who are strong. 

Oh, how I'd love to see this same thing taking place more frequently in our churches.  Somewhere along the way, we started believing the lie that Faith is a personal, private matter.  We've been shamed into keeping our mouths shut about it.  But the Body of Believers was always meant to be a group activity.  "For the body does not consist of one member but of many... God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose." (1 Cor. 12:14, 20)  

Can a Single Woman be Friends with a Married Man? Part 3

So, does that mean I can’t be friends with ANY married man?


No, it does not mean that. But, as always, we must check our hearts in every situation. If you feel any inkling of interest in that particular man, you must be VERY careful. Set boundaries to guard your heart and to keep yourself and your brother from stumbling. 

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) – Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

It is far too easy to covet, to be deceived and to fall into a trap. David is a perfect example of how quickly we can fall into sin. (2 Samuel 11) David was where he shouldn’t have been (home, rather than war) – and he quickly fell into one sin after another – justifying himself all along the way.

Remember, we must think on what is TRUE (Philippians 4:8). God’s Word clearly tells us that marriage is sacred – and we must treat it that way. He knows the desires of your heart, and He knows what is good and right and true. We must, as single women, trust Him to provide our needs, and not go looking to fill the gaps and holes in our lives with what looks good to us. Ephesians 6:10-18 reminds us:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints… 

Can a Single Woman be Friends with a Married Man? Part 2

But what if he is an unbeliever? Can’t I share Christ with him?


Beloved, check the motive of your heart. Are you truly concerned that he knows Christ, or are you creating justification for a continued relationship with him?

Hebrews 13:4 says: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Marriage is holy and sanctified – set apart and consecrated. You do not want to play any part in a man straying from his wife. Don’t be blinded by desperation. Desperation will lie to us – will fool our heart into thinking we are doing something for all the right reasons. But, as Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us,

                                        The heart is deceitful above all things,
                                              and desperately sick;
                                                  who can understand it?

Why would you want to be friends with a man who does not honor his marriage? What is your real intent? James warns us again about the deceit of our hearts in 1:13-14:

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul tells us, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” God always provides a way out – take it!

We are warned numerous times against playing any part in any other person stumbling:

Jesus said in Matthew 18:7 - “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!”

Mark 14:38 - Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 - Abstain from every form of evil.

Roman 14:21 - It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. [emphasis mine]

If you really want to help this man with his relationship with God, do the following:

1) Ask some godly people to pray for him

2) Ask your pastor, or some other solid Christian man to reach out to him.

This protects you from being further deceived, and if the Lord is truly drawing him unto Himself, then he will be receptive to your pastor or friend.

Can a Single Woman be Friends with a Married Man? Part 1

This is, of course, a loaded question! The answer is both yes and no, and depends largely on many factors. If you find yourself in this situation, consider the following:

Inappropriate “friendships”

Let’s start with an easily discerned situation where friendship would NOT be appropriate. If the man initiated this friendship under any deception (for example, flirting and behaving as a single man, when he was married) FLEE!

1 Corinthians 15:33 says: Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Proverbs 22:3 says: The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.

1 Corinthians 5:9-13 says: I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”